


Be My Hero

by Whambamthanksbatfam



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Barry Allen Needs a Hug, Barry Allen Whump, Crying, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, POV Multiple, Panic Attacks, Poor Barry, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleep Deprivation, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-14 18:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14142279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whambamthanksbatfam/pseuds/Whambamthanksbatfam
Summary: Barry's been going through a tough time, but only Oliver seems to notice. But Oliver can't be there 24/7 he has his own city and problems. Will anyone else notice before it's too late?





	1. I Don't Know

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [dream big, aim higher's Tumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/367161) by Anonymous. 



> Hey, Guys! My second fic! So I hope y'all enjoy it. This is all based on a Tumblr post I wrote linked below. 
> 
> https://alexiablackbriar13.tumblr.com/post/134810887398/im-so-concerned-about-barrys-mental-health-hes

Chapter 1 - I Don’t Know

Barry’s POV

I’m sitting on the couch sipping coffee. I haven’t been able to sleep lately. I don’t know why. I try to, really. I get a shower, put on PJs, but the sleep just doesn’t come. My mind can’t stop racing: all the bad things that happen each day, my parents, and the team. Everything is my fault, and I want to stop hurting people. Iris invited me to come to Jitters with her, but I refused. I need to be alone right now. My thoughts are screaming in my head. My Mom being circled by the lightning, Ronnie and Stein dividing in the singularity, my Dad with a vibrating hand through his chest, HR laying dead in my arms. I— “Barry!”

“What? Oh, sorry, Joe.” I rub my eyes tiredly.

“What’s wrong?” Joe looked concerned.

“Oh, nothing, I’m fine. Just deep in thought.” Joe lightened up.

“Is it that new villain. We’ll get him,” Joe said.

“I know, Joe. It’s just —” Joe cut Barry off.

“Are you still coming to dinner tonight? I need you to be my wingman with Cecile. ”

“Yeah, but right now I need to go do some things.” I stood up, smiling ot reassure Joe

“Ok, later, Bar.” I sped out. I ran and ran and ran. I didn’t stop until I got to his door. I knock and wait for a reply. I hear him say something that sounds kinda like ‘One minute,’ and wait.

“Oh, hey, Barry,” Oliver says surprised. He looks at me again. “What’s wrong?” I look at him thinking ‘I don’t know. I’m just tired and I haven’t been sleeping and there are just so many villains, it never ends, and… I just don’t know.’ “Barry, are you okay?” Oliver looked worried, that’s when I realize I’m crying.

“No,” I answer truthfully, and I just sob. Oliver leads me into his apartment, and sits me on the couch. I never stop crying. He just rubs my back consolingly. Eventually, I start to feel tired. The effects of running all those miles catching up to me and I lay in Oliver’s lap. Everything goes black a little after that. 


	2. Warning Signs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry's been going through a tough time, but only Oliver seems to notice. But Oliver can't be there 24/7 he has his own city and problems. Will anyone else notice before it's too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter's up! This one is a bit longer and sets the scene a bit more. We are beginning to climax too! I'll try to update at least once a week until the story is done. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

I was making dinner. Well trying, I found this new Penne recipe and was attempting to boil the pasta when I heard a knock on my door. “Coming!” I yelled at my unknown guest. I strained the pasta, then went and opened the door: Barry. “Oh, hey, Barry,” I say. I’m kinda surprised to see him there. I wonder what he’s here for. Did I forget something? He looks sad so I must’ve forgotten something. ‘Think, Oliver! Think!’ I tell myself. What could this be about. Looking at Barry some more I see he looks really pale, and he’s crying. “Barry, are you okay?” 

“No,” he answers. Then he starts outright sobbing. I lead him back into the apartment and sit him on the couch. He doesn’t even seem to notice, he’s just crying. I rub his back soothingly and wonder what could have caused this. I know he’s under a lot a pressure. We both are. We try to help each other, meeting at least once a month to check on each other. He missed the last one, something about a new villain. Barry lays his head in my lap. He must be tired. Central City is 1000 miles away (A/N I used the real life cities Central City, Colorado and Star City, Arkansas. #Nerd). Next thing I know he’s sleep. I carefully lay his head down on one of my decorative pillows and get a blanket for him out of the closet. I finish the Pasta, and it turns out pretty good, so I made Barry a plate and covered it. I read while waiting for him to wake up, and then I hear a ringing. Barry’s phone is lighting up with a picture of Joe, Barry’s dad. I don’t want him to worry, since I figure his trip was impromptu, so I answer the phone. “Hey, Joe. This is Oliver, Barry’s not available right now. It looks like he hasn’t been sleeping and he’s resting”

_ “What!? Why?! You need to wake him up I need him!”  _ Joe yells. He sounds distressed. 

“What’s wrong Joe?” I ask. Ready to go be Green Arrow at a moment’s notice.

_ “He’s supposed to be my Wingman at dinner tonight with Cecile.” _ Joe claim exasperatedly

“You did hear me right?” I said. Figuring Joe hadn’t thought yet. “Barry HAS NOT BEEN SLEEPING.” I think he’s in a bad place, Joe.”

_ “I’m sorry to hear that, but he promised me he’d be there. Have him speed over here.” _

I hung up. Joe obviously has his priorities wrong currently. I know Joe cares about Barry. I mean he wouldn’t take in an 11 year old boy for no reason, but he seems to forget how much Barry has on his plate. 

Barry is still sleeping on the couch when I notice his breathing is hitched. His face is crumpled in discomfort and he is curled up like a ball on his side. I wonder if I should wake him up. I don’t want to freak him out though, and he’s had like no sleep lately. I’m still contemplating when I hear a scream rip from Barry’s mouth. I’m by his side in a second and I’m trying to wake him up, but he just keeps yelling for his mom. “Barry, it’s Oliver, you’re here in my apartment.” I keep shaking him until his blue eyes open and meet my green ones. “It’s okay.” 


	3. Impetus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to heat up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Another installment of Be My Hero. I hope you all are enjoying it. This chapter is like double the size of my previous 2, but I felt all of it needed to be together. As I said before I hope to post at least once a week. Probably Fridays or Saturdays (School gets really busy and I get at least 3hrs of homework each night.). Enjoy!

Previously (Oliver’s POV)

I’m by his side in a second and I’m trying to wake him up, but he just keeps yelling for his mom. “Barry, it’s Oliver, you’re here in my apartment.” I keep shaking him until his blue eyes open and meet my green ones. “It’s okay.”

* * *

  
Oliver’s POV

“Oliver, I’m so sorry— Wait! What time is it!? I have to go to Joe’s…” He just keeps muttering something and he tries to get up, but I push him back down.

“You need rest, Barry. I can tell you haven’t been sleeping.”

“I know, I will, it’s just there’s a lot going on right now, and a lot of people are counting on me, and I don’t want anything else to happen to anyone. I’ve caused way to many deaths and—”

“Barry, stop. Everything isn’t your fault. You didn’t ask for superspeed or these villains or cause your parents to be killed. It’s late. Just stay here tonight and you can go back first thing in the morning.”

“Okay, yeah I guess so.” His eyes are drooping. I give him a smile, and he lays back down and goes to sleep.   

* * *

  
Barry’s POV

When I woke up I realized 2 things:

I was not in my apartment.  
I was not in my apartment!  
I freaked out and shot up, but then I saw I was in Oliver’s apartment and relaxed. I laid back down. I don’t feel well today. “Barry?” I heard Oliver say. He walked in from his bedroom.

“Hey, Oliver. Thanks for letting me crash here last night.”

“It was no problem, Barry. Have you been sleeping lately? You don’t seem okay”

“I’m fine. Well, Kinda I—”

“Barry, don’t lie to me” Oliver cut me off saying.

“No, but I was really trying. It’s just with everything going on and stuff. My mind can’t stop.” I felt myself tearing up.

“Barry, you woke up screaming. That’s more than just sleep deprivation.” He came and sat down beside me. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’ve just been going through a tough time is all.”

“Okay, but you know you can call me or come to me whenever if you’re having a hard time.”

“I know”

“Good.” HE said looking relieved. “You know, Joe called yesterday. I told him you were asleep, but he didn't seem to care. You can’t let them pull you in every direction. Make sure to be taking time for yourself. We have to do that as heroes.”

“I will,” I respond. Feeling a whole lot better. “How about I speed us some breakfast?”

* * *

  
Oliver smiled, “Sure, Barry.”

“This was nice, Oliver,” I said as I got ready to go back to Central City.

“Yeah, Barry. Don’t hesitate to call.” He said

“I won’t” I smiled. “Bye!”

* * *

  
I sped into the main room at STAR Labs smiling while picking up the papers I knocked down. I really should get them some paperweights. “Hey, Barry,” Caitlin said chirpily.

“Hey, Cait! Whatcha working on?”

“Oh, I’m actually just doing some light Spring cleaning. Wanna help?”

“Sure!” I sped around the room and cleaned everything up.

“Thanks!” She laughed.

“Hey, Barry!” Cisco came in.

“Hey, Cisco! What’s up?” I asked. I could tell he was excited about something.

“Oh, nothing much” he feigned nonchalance. “Just the best training tool you’ll ever see!” He led Caitlin and me into the room with the treadmill and introduced “Girder 2.0!” Cisco said.”Wanna try it out?” He asked excitedly.

“Sure!” I said. I don’t really mind trying out all his new toys. It’s kinda fun! I go up to it, Cisco presses the button, and the Girder and I are going at it. I dodge the shots pretty well, but then I hear Joe come in the building yelling my name, and he sounded angry. I turned my head for a minute and BAM! Girder 2.0 gets me right in the nose. I screamed in pain and fell to the ground.

“Joe!” Cisco said. “You can’t distract him like that when he’s training. He’s getting blood all over Girder 2.0’s base!”

“Cisco!” Cait screeched. “Really? C’mon Barry obviously Cisco and Joe have their heads in the sand.” Caitlin helps me up and leads me to one of the medical tables. “It looks like your nose is broken.”

“Feels like it too,” I try to joke to lighten the mood. Then Joe comes barreling towards me.

“You were supposed to be my wingman last night! I called you and then Oliver made up some excuse about you being tired. What’s that about?!” Caitlin held up her finger for Joe to wait a minute while she fixed my nose. When she popped it back in place, which hurt YIKES!, and bandaged my nose she gestured at me signaling I could respond then left.

“Well,” I said nasally. “I just… well… I—”

“I don't even want to know.”

“I’m sorry I forgot and I was just tired and—”

“You know what, Barry! Forget it! I’m am so tired of your excuses.” Joe stormed out. Then Cisco came in.

“Are you okay, man?” He asked worriedly.

“I—” I just sped out. I was tearing up. I let down Joe. Just like I let down so many other people. Once I got into my apartment I just changed into some sweatpants and a shirt and I laid down. I really didn’t mean to disappoint Joe. I was just so tired, I forgot, and then I couldn’t get the image of my dead parents out of my head… I sighed. I just laid there. I didn’t sleep or eat or read. I just stared at the picture of my mom, dad and I at the park the month before she died. The month before I started letting people down and causing death. I want to go back to that time so badly.

* * *

  
I don’t know how long it had been when I heard a knocking at my door. “Barry? I know you’re in there. It’s Iris.” I got up from bed and trudged to the door and unlocked. Then I walked back to me bed and fell straight down on my stomach. “Barry! Where’d you—Oh. There you are. What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing” I say. Not really wanting to worry her.

“Oookay. Well, anyway, see there’s this child smuggling ring in Arizona and I really wanna catch it.” She stopped. I guess she was waiting for me to respond. I turned over sitting up on the bed.

“And” I prompted her.

“And I need some help. Protection and all that, you know? Oh, could you please help me, Barry? I really, really want this story. It’ll further my career!”

“I don’t know, Iris. I—”

“Also, I kinda promised my boss that I was going to get by the end of the week.”

“What! Iris, I—”

“I know, I know. You’re busy with being The Flash and stuff, but I’d hope you’d have time for your sweet sister.” She said the last part sing-songedly. “Great!” She said, not waiting for my answer. “Meet me outside CCPN in your Flash suit at 5 tomorrow. Bye!” She left. I really didn’t want to do this, but I couldn’t let her down like I had done so many other people.


	4. Ashes, Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry has an episode and Oliver talks him through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all!  
> I know this is real short, but I'm gonna try to keep the POV the same for each chapter for more fluidity. Hope you've been enjoying. I have actually cracked out 5 chapters today (Whoa!), but these aren't normal circumstances, so don't expect this all the time. Enjoy!

Barry’s POV  
The lighting is circling at my mom. She’s screaming at me to run, but I can’t. Then she stops screaming. Her body is laying on the floor, lifeless. “Mom,” I cry. “Mom, wake up. Mom, please, I need you.” She’s still not moving. I can hear my name echo, but that doesn't matter right now because—”Dad!? Dad, no, No no no no no. I need you. You’re all I have left! Please, Dad, please. No!” The room is shaking and then everything goes black.


	5. We All Fall Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry has an episode, and Oliver talks him through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all! Here's the contiuation from Chapter 4. I hope y'all noticed the nursery rhyme "Ring Around the Rosie" when I wrote these last 2 titles. Hope ya'll like it!

Barry rushed me out the building. He had already gotten all of the children out and was going in to get the men. Then a loud BOOM and a bright light became the warehouse. Barry stared at it for a minute, then he fell to his knees. “Flash!” I called. I was trying to make sure he was okay, but I didn’t want to leave the Children here, so I called the police to come and get them, and tried to get Barry to snap out of it. I didn’t understand what was going on. He kept muttering things about his mom and dad. It reminded me of one of his PTSD episodes. He hadn’t had one in years. Since we were in high school.I kept calling his name, but eventually, he just passed out. The police were coming so I drug him into the car and drove off.

* * *

 

I went and parked in the hotel lot. We rented a room for the night. I sat there for a minute wondering how I was going to get him upstairs when I saw him wake up. “Barry?” He looked at me as if he was still in a daze. He wasn’t speaking. I helped him change clothes in the car, but he stayed in his daze. That’s weird, but at least now we could go to the hotel room.

* * *

 

Once we got in the room I had him sit on the bed. What should I do? I mean, even when we were in High School the episodes never lasted this long. Maybe I should call someone? Oliver may know, he’s probably experienced these before. So I called him.

“Hello, Barry?”

“It’s Iris. I need help with Barry…” I explained the situation to him. “... So it seems like he’s broken or something.”

“Let me talk to him,” Oliver said. So I put the phone on speaker and told Oliver to go at it.

“Barry? It’s Oliver. You’re in a hotel room with Iris. You’re not in your house. Barry? Listen, just take deep breaths, okay? 1, 2, 3, and hold a breath in” Barry lets his breath in. “And now out.” Barry copies this for awhile and then says “Iris?”

“We’re good now Oliver. Thanks!”

“No problem. Bye, Barry!”

“Bye?” Barry said inquiringly

“You good, Barry?” I asked. 

“Yeah, what happened?” 

“You had another PTSD episode. When did those start up again?” He looked lost in thought. “Barry!”

“Huh?!”

“Man you are out of it. Here, just lay down.” He laid down and I tucked him in as if he were 2. Then I sat by his head and rubbed his wrist until he fell asleep.

  
  



	6. Let Me Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry stops a robbery and we discover a phobia of his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy, y'all!  
> A new chapter! I've been writing these instead of sleeping even though I totally have school in like 7 hours (I'm so Bad). I hope y'all enjoy this. I have another one too! This work really is going by fast. If you like my work, please subscribe! Over and Out!  
> #Sleepisfortheweak

Barry’s POV

I’ve been working extra hard since the stuff that happened with Iris and everything, but, now, I can finally relax because Oliver is coming to visit! Well, kinda. Queen’s Consolidated is doing something here in Central City, and Oliver said he’d come over. This is going to be our monthly meeting just a bit longer. It’s nice to have Oliver here to talk and stuff. He’s been doing this hero stuff a few years longer than me, and we can kinda help relieve each other’s anxiety.

I’ve only been sitting on the sofa waiting for Oliver for like a minute, but that’s like an hour in speedster time. Maybe I’ll watch a movie to calm my nerves a bit. I turn on the TV and search for a good movie. While flipping through the channels my phone rings to life, and I see Cisco’s app telling me about a robbery.

* * *

I’m at the scene in a flash (A/N Get it?! Ha, Ha… please don’t hate me!). It’s the new villain, Cubic. He can make cubes out of anything with the snap of his fingers. “Cubic,” I say acknowledging the villain.  
“Flash! I see you’ve found me. That’s great! Because have I got a gift for you!” He snaps his fingers and I’m encased in a cube. It’s really tight. I don’t like tight spaces. I mean, being a speedster and all, no speedster likes closed, tight spaces. We’re all a bit claustrophobic. I vibrate my molecules, but I can’t seem to get out. What kind of metal is this? Panic starts to set in when I still can’t vibrate fast enough to get out.  
“You okay, Barry?” Cisco! I forgot I had my comm.  
“Uh. Not really Cubic has me encased in a pretty tight cube. Ican’tvibratefastenoughtogetoutandIreallydon’tlikeenclosedspacesgetmeoutpleasepleaseplease…”  
“Whoa, whoa, slower. Calm down, dude. Your heart rate is getting too high. We called Oliver and he’s on his way. You just need to breathe. We don’t want you hyperventilating and passing out.”  
“Yeah… Okay.” I’m already hyperventilating. Whoops.  
“Hey, Barry. You’re good. Just think happy thoughts like puppies and ice cream and my sexy voice. Okay too far, but seriously you’re alright. Just hang in there.” Cisco is trying and failing to reassure me. I really hate this. It feels like forever, but Oliver, Arrow here, comes and rescues me. He uses one of his arrows to freeze the box so that I can get out (A/N 3x04 when Caitlin and Barry this way).  
“Flash, you okay,” Arrow is asking me, but all I can think of is getting out so I speed back home.

* * *

I get out of my suit and sit on my couch in my boxers. My breathing still hasn’t slowed, and I just can’t slow down. My heart is pounding even faster than normal. “Barry?” Oliver is here. He’s in his civilian clothes so I’ve probably been here at least 30 minutes. “Are you okay?” Tears are streaming down my face, I’m curled in a ball shaking, and I can’t bring myself to answer.  
“Barry,” Oliver says firmly, but softly, “You need to calm down. Just breathe.” I try to breathe, but all that comes out is a choked breath. Oliver tries to grab one of my hands but I whimper and curl more into myself. “Barry, I’m just going to touch, okay. A really small touch. Are small touches okay,” Oliver is talking, but I can’t answer. I just nod. He grabs my hand puts it against his chest. “Breathe like me,” he instructs. I try my best to copy him, but it’s hard. Eventually, after what feels like forever, my breathing is normal.


	7. Let It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Chp 6. Oliver's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all!  
> Hope y'all have been enjoying the story. This is basically the rest of Chapter 6's scene from Oliver's POV. There will be some high tensions and confrontation next Chapter so get ready!!! Also, If y'all have any suggestions for plot, requests, or critiques please don't hesitate to comment! I'd love to hear from y'all! Enjoy!

_Previously, in Be My Hero:_

_(Barry’s POV)_

_“Barry,” Oliver says firmly, but softly, “You need to calm down. Just breathe.” I try to breathe, but all that comes out is a choked breath. Oliver tries to grab one of my hands but I whimper and curl more into myself. “Barry, I’m just going to touch, okay. A really small touch. Are small touches okay,” Oliver is talking, but I can’t answer. I just nod. He grabs my hand puts it against his chest. “Breathe like me,” he instructs. I try my best to copy him, but it’s hard. Eventually, after what feels like forever, my breathing is normal.”_

Now:

Oliver’s POV

Barry looks spent. I finally got his breathing back to normal and now he’s just leaning against me. How’d it get this bad? Barry needs someone to ground him. I try, but he needs someone closer. Who can be available in a matter of minutes. I have Diggle (A/N In case you don’t follow Arrow, John Diggle is the hero Spartan and one of Oliver’s confidants. He works with Team Arrow) to do that for me. “Barry,” I’m trying to get his attention, but he still looks dazed, and pale. Way too pale. I need to check on that. “Barry, look at me,” he looks up a bit, then lays on the other side of the sofa. “You can’t fall asleep yet, Barry,” he needs to eat or things could be bad. His metabolism is fast.

“No,” is what Barry answers me with as he grabs a blanket that was sprawled across the back of the sofa. This is going to be harder than I thought.

“C’mon, Barry,” I pulled him up and literally dragged him into the kitchen and threw him not-so-gently into a chair.

“Awwwwwww,” Barry whined.

“Nope. You are going to eat and then we’ll talk, and then, and only then, you may sleep.” I told Barry as I found one of the calorie bars Cisco made for Barry, and took him back in the living room. “What was that about,” I inquired.

“I just really don’t like tight spaces,” Barry said innocently.

“Have you been resting. You know lack of sleep and stress can make panic attacks worse.” Barry looked at me guiltily.

“Ever since what happened with Iris I’ve been trying to make sure I don’t let anyone down. I’ve let too many people down, Oliver. I don’t know that I could live with myself if I did it again,” Barry admitted. I’m worried Barry is going to work himself to an early grave.

“You have to slow down, Barry. I know its hard, especially for you, but you have to stay healthy.”

“I know,” he conceded and laid down again. “May I sleep now? I’m soooo tired.”

“Okay,” I said. “But you need to do it in a bed,” as I finished I saw a dead asleep Barry. Why must I do everything? I sighed and carried Barry to his bed. He looks so small and vulnerable when he sleeps. It reveals his true appearance. This is getting out of control I need to have a talk with ‘Team Flash’, as they call themselves, about Barry.


	8. Climax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontation I promised!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! So, here is the promised confrontation. I know it's a bit OOC for Iris and Joe, but I feel that vibe sometimes when I'm watching the show. Also, it is a bit short, but I will be posting a subsequent chapter like 5 minutes from now. Again, if you have any requests, suggestions, critiques, etc. just comment below! Also, if you have any requests for a certain fiction or one-shot, just comment below any of my works. Warning though: I do prompts, but no incest or LTGBTQQ+ or Multi. Thanks and Enjoy!

Oliver’s POV

No one seems to care about Barry’s mental health. I’m really worried about him. He needs to slow down,  but the only way he can do that is if they, meaning Team Flash, keep pushing him to do more and more. I am walking to the STAR Labs to talk to them though. I left Barry at his apartment. He was still sleeping, so I called him in sick for work. They’re arguing about something when I come in. “Oliver! I mean Mr. Queen, sir.” Cisco screeches.

“Hello, Cisco, you can call me Oliver you know. Joe, Iris, Miss Snow.” I greeted them. 

“What’s up? Actually, have you seen Barry? I have this new story... ” Iris inquired.

“Actually, things like that are what I want to talk to you about. You all have been putting way too much stress on Barry. He can only do so much. Have you guys been considering his mental health in all these requests you ask him,” I stayed calm and explained. I promised myself I wouldn’t rage for Barry’s sake. They just stood there for a minute, hopefully contemplating my words and realizing their error.

“What are you talking about,” Iris responded first. “We haven’t been asking that much of him, and he has superspeed, so he shouldn’t exactly be busy.”

“He shouldn’t have to be doing everything fast. He should be able to slow down every once in awhile,” I retorted. Then Joe chose to add his opinion.

“Family helps family, so he should help us when we need it. We help him. I mean, look at this whole set up,” Joe gestured at the room, “It’s all for his crime fighting. You know what—I'm gonna leave before you make me angry.” Joe left and Iris followed him. Then Caitlin and Cisco looked at me.

“We’ll be sure to keep an eye on him,” Caitlin reassured me, and Cisco nodded his head to agree with her.

“Thanks, guys. Well, bye.” I left to head back to Barry’s apartment.


	9. Memoriam Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver tries to pull Barry out of his depression before he falls to deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all!   
> This is subsequent to the last chapter, so I hope you like it. If ya got any suggestions, request, or critiques comment below! Enjoy!

When I came in it was still quiet, so I figured Barry was sleeping. I should probably get him up now, he’ll need to eat because of his metabolism. So I fix him some toast and knock on the door. “Barry?” I walk in, and I see he’s up. Good. “I brought you some toast.” He’s still just lying there staring into space. I walk in front of him and call his name while snapping my fingers in front of his, now that I see it alarmingly pale, face. Eventually he looks up, but he doesn’t say anything. 

“Are you okay, Barry,” I ask. He just stares for a minute before finally replying “Yeah, its just the time of year.” I think for a minute, what time of the year is it? It’s not his birthday, or Christmas, we just had New Years. Oh. His mom died around this time. 

“Barry?”

“Yeah?” He looks despondent. I need to get him up and moving. 

“Wanna go somewhere? A movie or to get coffee or something?” 

“Nah. I’m good.” He turned his attention to a picture. I pick it up to look at it. It’s Barry with his mom and dad. He looks about the age he was when Mrs. Allen died. I need to get him out of here before he sinks even deeper.

“Okay, Barry,” I try to sound chirpy. “We’re leaving to go…  somewhere,” I sigh. I really don’t know where to take him, but anywhere is better than here. I pull him up, and he groans at me and tells me to leave him alone. But nope! Can’t stop me! I’m Arrow, fierce protector of Star City and one of the most fearsome heroes on this Earth (A/N Because there are 51 earths and New Earth in continuity, I decided Earth 52 would be the home of my story so that any inconsistencies my neurotic brain is not likely to miss will not ruin the story.). I sit him up then go to find some clothes for him to put on. I choose a ‘We ❤️ Flash’ t-shirt and some dark-washed jeans then hand them to Barry. When I turn around he’s still staring at the picture, but at least he’s up. And now the ‘Great Flarrow Showdown of 2018,’ or what others may refer to as ‘My Forcing Barry to Put HIs Clothes on.’ It took me 15 minutes, and I still had to put the shirt on myself! Man, depressed Barry is stubborn. So, now that he’s dressed, Barry and I walk (Read: Barry is dragged) through his apartment to the kitchen where I give him some freshly made toast, and insist he eats it (Read: I threaten Barry with 2 more arrows to the back if he doesn’t eat). Then we go to the car, and I just drive around. He still looks really dazed, but his color has come back a bit. 

“So, whatcha wanna do, Barry,” I ask him. He looks at me, looks at the window, opens his mouth to speak, and then says nothing. “C’mon there has to be somewhere you want to go,” I encourage him to tell me what he was thinking.

“You won’t want to take me,” he says somberly.

“I promise no matter how stupid it is I’ll take you.” Barry looks at me and says “I wanna go to their graves.” Shoot! I was not expecting that. And dang it, I promised! Well, I guess I’m taking the sad guy to a graveyard. Way to go, Oliver!  


	10. Memoriam Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the previous chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all!  
> Here's the next part of Memoriam. I hope y'all are enjoying it. Leave any suggestions, critiques, or requests in the comments below! This chapter is like the start of the apex of the series, so get ready! Enjoy!

_ Previously in “Be My Hero” _

_ “So, whatcha wanna do, Barry,” I ask him. He looks at me, looks at the window, opens his mouth to speak, and then says nothing. “C’mon there has to be somewhere you want to go,” I encourage him to tell me what he was thinking. _

_ “You won’t want to take me,” he says somberly. _

_ “I promise no matter how stupid it is I’ll take you.” Barry looks at me and says “I wanna go to their graves.” Shoot! I was not expecting that. And dang it, I promised! Well, I guess I’m taking the sad guy to a graveyard. Way to go, Oliver! _

* * *

Now:

Barry’s POV  

I’ve been feeling depressed. I just, I can’t do this anymore. Oliver tried to get me out of the house, but I kinda tricked him into going to my parent’s graves. I’m just leaning against my mom’s. I miss her. I really want to be with them. I wish I could be with them. “Barry,” Oliver snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah?” He looks worried, but I don’t need him to be worried. I smile, trying to ease the tension and anxiety. But all I really want to do is just sit there with my parents forever. My mom always used to help me feel better, but now she’s gone, and I don’t know what to do anymore. 

“You good,” Oliver inquires.

“Yeah,” I reply, smiling bigger. I don’t need to burden him. He has his own city and problems. “Can we go get something to eat?” I’m asking him to get his mind off things. While trying to blink away the images of my parents in my head.

“Yeah,” he seems excited. Happy that I want to ‘do something,’ so I let him stay that way. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Oliver’s POV

Barry seems happier. I don’t have to force him into lunch, so that’s good. Maybe this is all over. He’s even smiling and rambling like he usually does. I have to go back to Star tomorrow, so it’s good he’s back to normal.


	11. Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all just gets to be too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy, y'all!  
> This is the penultimate chapter, so I hope y'all've been enjoying it. I know I have. Comment below please, and enjoy!

Barry’s POV

I just lay on my bed. Not focusing my eyes on any particular thing in the room. I haven’t left in… well I don’t know how long it has been and I’ve no motivation to locate my phone in the mound of blankets on my bed and check the date and time. I think I’ve heard knocking once or twice, but I’m not really sure. I don’t want to see anyone right now. I already took precautions by changing my lock and texting for no one to mess with me before this whole thing started. However long ago that was. My heart hurts. It hurts a lot. I’m drowning in pain, and I’m thinking of just giving in and letting it overtake me. At least then I’d be with my parents. I miss them so much, especially my mom. 

I sigh, and then I feel a sharp pain in my abdomen. Oh yeah. I need to eat, but I just can’t bring myself to get up. My metabolism isn’t helping things either. I don’t deserve to eat. I’ve done nothing, but fail people countless times over the years. Why should I get to eat and be happy and live when my parents don’t? I’m no better than them. Tears are trickling down my face now, and then I just start sobbing uncontrollably. 

It’s not fair. 

They deserved better. I should have made sure they got better. I should’ve known Zoom was Jay. It’s the same thing with Thawne all over again. Because of my ignorance my parents are killed. I so much want to join them. All the mistakes I've made, I deserve to join them.

I’ve been working on this solution. It’s a concentrate of a cocktail of narcotics. I’ve had it for a while now, but I kept having reasons not to use it. Now, I’ve no reasons not to use it. I’m stilling crying, my vision blurred with tears as I stare at the picture of my parents and I one last time. I walk into the bathroom. We’ll be together again. I finally have the way to make my heart stop hurting so much: stopping it altogether. Then, I hear a frantic banging on my door.


	12. I'll Be Your Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End of the Road

Oliver’s POV

I get a call from Caitlin and Cisco saying Barry seemed off the last time they saw him, and that they hadn’t seen him in 2 days. That worries me, so I take my private jet (A/N Oliver never loses his fortune on Earth-52) and go straight to STAR Labs. “What do you mean he’s missing,” I yell at them. I tell them to look out for him, then they let him stay missing for 2 days without telling me! I don’t know what headspace he’s in or anything! 

“We thought he’d come back on his own, but we went to his apartment and he wouldn’t let us in,” Caitlin said worriedly. “Neither Joe nor Iris’ keys to his home worked either,” she looked on the verge of tears. Then Cisco admitted, “We should’ve called you sooner, but we made a mistake. We’re hoping he’ll let you in.” I leave STAR Labs and head straight to Barry’s place on my bike. I’m going as fast as I can and I hope that’s fast enough. 

Once i get there, I knock on is door rapidly. He didn’t answer. Then I decide to approach this differently. I come inside through one of his windows. Not ideal, but it doesn’t matter at this point. “Barry?” I’m walking around the apartment, but I still can’t find him. Then, I hear sobbing. I run into Barry’s bathroom, and I see him lying against the wall tile curled into a fetal position. “Barry, what’s wrong,” I run and wrap him into a hug, but he still stays curled up in a ball tight as ever. Then I hear him talking through his tears, but I can’t understand him over his crying. “Barry, I can’t help you if you don’t calm down. Do I need to get a sedative?” If I can’t calm him down I’ll have to before he hyperventilates or gets tachycardic. That would be worse, so I get one out of my pocket just in case (A/N Oliver is the Arrow so of course he’s prepared. What good hero doesn’t carry a sedative around?). I rub his back soothingly, and then he starts to calm down. 

“There, that’s it Barry, just calm down and breathe. Can you tell me what’s wrong,” I ask him softly.

“It hurts,” he says simply, still crying, but softer. He looks so desperate.

“What hurts,” I start to check him for injuries, but I don't see any. Internal bleeding or an infection maybe?

“My heart. It hurts so badly.” I’m about to respond when he says, “It really hurts. Please make it stop. Make it stop!” He starts to sob harder, so I hold him tighter. “Make it stop beating,” he says while looking at me pleadingly. 

That’s when I case the area. I see nothing suspicious except for a vial of something. Was Barry going to kill himself? I don’t know what to do so I just start singing to him (A/N Just imagine a song you find comforting or reassuring with a somber tone). Eventually, when he starts to drift off I hear him say with a smile “Thanks for being my hero, Oliver.” Once he is sleep, I carry him back to his bed and just watch him for a minute. I’m going to make sure this never happens again. I’ll be your hero, Barry.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy, y'all!   
> Writing this fic was so much fun! Thank y'all for reading it, and I hope the ending didn't disappoint. I'm always working on my writing, so please comment below if you have any requests, suggestions, or critiques for me. I'm not done yet, so look forward to more fics! Have a great [Insert time of the 24 hour periods in which we live you're reading this]!


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